


Fiðrildi Elskhugi

by Vulpes_Incendium



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1980s, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Homophobia, M/M, MULLET HONG KONG, Mutual Pining, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:46:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26254366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vulpes_Incendium/pseuds/Vulpes_Incendium
Summary: For HongIce Week 2020Sep 2: Mutual Pinning or MusicHow could two boys be so close to each other?How would one think of their condemned relationship?Emil knew he had sinned by falling in love with his best friend, Leon.But why does something so wrong feel so right?A songfic inspired by《勞斯．萊斯》by Denise Ho.
Relationships: Hong Kong/Iceland (Hetalia)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 17
Collections: HongIce Week 2020





	Fiðrildi Elskhugi

**Author's Note:**

> 《勞斯．萊斯》 is a Cantopop song about falling in love with your best friend sung by Denise Ho 何韻詩, the title translate to Rolls-Royce (but it has nothing to do with the car brand lol, they are the protagonists of the story). The lyrics and the music video are quite ambiguous, it can be interpreted as a girl falling in love with her best friend, but he has always treated her as a “bro”. But pretty much everyone has all agreed that it was about a gay couple, the singer is a lesbian and the lyricist is gay. I immediately thought of this song when I decided to do a songfic for HongIce in their native languages, I thought this is perfect for this pair. Enjoy.
> 
> Music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW8JguOC_tQ&feature=emb_logo  
> Lyrics translation: https://lyricstranslate.com/en/%E5%8B%9E%E6%96%AF%E8%90%8A%E6%96%AF-louis-and-lawrence-louis-and-lawrence.html

Thump. Thump.

Another bright beautiful day, perfect for watching your best friend's basketball practice at the school playground, or as Emil would call it “enjoying the sun under the tree, sketching, while listening to the annoying sound of basketball bouncing”.

_勞斯和萊斯 都是花樣男子_

_勞斯 原是個校隊的優秀種子_

_萊斯 只喜愛讀書_

_偏偏他倆 早見晚見_

_每日著住同樣 純白襯衣_

_羅曼史 開場於 相鄰的桌椅_

_不過二人 不敢放肆_

The Icelandic teen looked past the edge of his sketchbook, focusing on nothing but one figure. His dark silky hair, so smooth like a freshly-polished antique mahogany, the back of his hair had grown past his shoulders now despite being against the school's dress code, drenched with sweat but still floating like feathers in the air; his thick eyebrows, his glimmering eyes, his chiseled jaw, his soft lips, his pronounced chest muscles, all seemed to be so perfectly crafted. Every bounce of the ball was strong and powerful, every step he took was swift and elegant. Oh and his toned calves...

Emil had to stop himself from staring too long, he swapped his gaze back onto his sketchbook and quickly sketched down every detail he just saw on the white paper. He could draw everything by memory, having done this so many times, let alone the time they spent with each other, he simply enjoyed the view of the model of his drawing.

Loud cheers roared and a set of footsteps approached him, he quickly flipped his sketchbook to the previous page with a drawing of the school building he had finished a long time ago.

“Hey Em, how was I?”

“Didn't pay attention to you, I was enjoying nature.” Emil shrugged, not lifting his head to the owner of the voice. From that, he earned a small chuckle from his friend.

Leon sat next to Emil, peeking at the drawing he was working on. “The same thing again. Why don't you draw something else? Something better to look at, something tubular...”, he leaned closer to Emil, “like myself?”

Emil could hear Leon's smug smile, so he kept his focus on his drawing, didn't want to feed his best friend's ego. Of course he knew he did well, he contributed twenty points to be exact, of course he knew his team won and of course he was the best thing he could draw. But no way was he going to admit any of those. Emil wasn't proud of anything he did, but if there's one thing he could be proud of, it would be his ability to control himself around Leon.

Leon reached out for Emil's sketchbook, trying to steal it. Emil immediately held it tight, pulling it back, he would protect the book with the cost of his life. It would be the end of him if Leon saw his other drawings, all the same faces of his best friend, just in different angles. It was not fair that Leon was more athletic than him, he could easily overpower him. He almost won but Emil wouldn't let it, so he held on to it with all his might. Leon, being the cheeky teen he was, let go of the sketchbook all of a sudden, causing Emil to lose balance and fell on top of him.

Emil gulped. Leon's eyelashes looked way longer than he thought they were and his skin looked so flawless, not a pore could be seen. His dark brown eyes always looked so mysterious and hypnotic like a black hole that was ready to suck you in at any time. He had always been close to Leon but never to such degree, not that he would complain about it, he did like what he was looking at after all. His lips were slightly plumped, looking so soft, and the soft tint of red, probably from the exercise, almost resembling the colour of his cheeks right now. He wanted to –

“Hey, Em. I think you've gained weight.” Leon smirked.

His words snapped Emil back from his fantasy. Realising the position they were in, he quickly pushed himself back up after giving Leon a playful punch on his stomach. He snatched his sketchbook that had flown onto the ground and took a quick glance at the surrounding, luckily no one was watching, but Leon didn't look like he cared. Emil admired that kind of confidence.

_能成為密友 大概總帶著愛_

_但做對好兄弟 又如此相愛 旁人會說不該_

_忘形時搭膊 自有一面退開_

_暗裡很享受 卻怕講出來_

_兩眼即使 移開轉開 心裡面也知 這是愛_

The two teenagers loved spending each weekend together, even though that was the only time they had outside their boarding school, and on top of that, they were roommates at the dormitory. One would think they spent too much time together, but they found each other's company so natural and never gave a thought about it.

Before Leon moved in, Emil prayed for an introverted bookworm like himself, so that he didn't have to talk to him till the end of highschool. Then when Leon transferred to the school, he thought it would be the end of him. Not only was he Asian, had very different habits than himself, but he also enjoyed teasing him. He thought it was the beginning of his nightmare, but things changed when Leon offered to swap seats with him at Maths class, noticing his short-sightedness. Unlike others, Leon had never made fun of his pale complexion or his thin frame, never had he called him a nerd nor had he teased him once about his weird food and sweater he had to bring on Culture Day he got so used to every year. He only teased him about how easy he blushes and how passionate he gets talking about Norse mythology.

The two got bored from playing Donkey Kong on Leon's Atari 2600, so Leon suggested to teach Emil how to roller skate. Emil initially refused, knowing how hard he would fail, he and sports simply didn't get along. As if God was making a joke on him, Leon and him had the same shoe size so his excuse of his skates not fitting him completely failed. And when Leon pulled out two pairs of inline skates out, he knew he was doomed.

Emil didn't understand how people could stand in these, let alone skating in them. This must be Leon's evil plan to embarrass him. It was so unfair that Leon could make fun of him with sports, but he couldn't do the same with literature as his best friend was also very knowledgeable, having a rather international background.

Couldn't even make a slide, Emil already lost his balance. Instead of falling onto the ground, he fell into a pair of strong arms as Leon immediately caught his friend. Still unable to find his balance, Emil leaned his whole body weight onto Leon, his head on his chest. He could hear his rapid heartbeat reverberating in his ears through his tight white T-shirt, probably from the exercise he had been doing, _or was it his own heartbeat?_ Oh and Leon's chest really felt like how it seemed to be: strong and comfortable. He wonder how it looks when –

Leon pulled Emil up, greeting his unathletic friend with a big grin, although his warm eyes showed sincere concern. He took his neon jacket off and held both of Emil's hands tight, guiding him to make the next slide. Emil was afraid, but felt safe in Leon's hands, yet there was an unexplainable heat creeping up his cheeks. _Perhaps sports were really not his thing._

After half an hour, they finally ended Emil's torture and declared he was hopeless at roller skating. The two friends went back to Leon's room to tidy up. “Can I take a shower first?” Leon asked and Emil of course agreed, he still had to look for the clothes he brought to change anyway. Leon went in front of his wardrobe and took off his T-shirt. He threw it into the laundry basket across the room with a perfect aim.

Emil's throat went dry. A weird feeling gathered at Emil's stomach at the sight of his best friend's half-naked body, it felt like something tightened. Leon's wiry body glistened with sweat, his chiseled neckline, the curve of his shoulders, his defined chest muscles, his toned abs were all sending heat down Emil's body. Surprised by the reaction, Emil grabbed some of his clothes, covering the front of his trousers and rushed into the bathroom, not wanting to face his friend in this state. “Y-You're too slow! I-I'll shower first!” He joked, ignoring his friend's confused face.

He turned the water to the coldest to cool his body and mind down, panting hard. He wanted to wash away all the uncomfortable feelings he was having. Never in his life had he experienced anything like this, he could not explain the sensation he was enjoying when Leon held his hands, how the mere sight of him captured his eyes and took his breath away. He wasn't sure if he wanted to get rid of this feeling or if it's ever going to disappear. The water was still running cold, but his body remained hot.

_男子和男子 怎能親密如此_

_勞斯 難面對 卻跟她勾過手指_

_萊斯 偏偏那樣痴_

_終於一次 她撲過去 四目對望然後 除下襯衣_

_迷惑中 的勞斯 此時先至知 一向沒當這好手足女子_

Religious studies class. Emil's absolute least favourite. Not only did he grow up in a very religious family that he already heard about the scriptures numerous times, but he was also always the centre of attention. He felt like every scripture they were taught was targeted at him.

“Open your bible to Leviticus chapter 18. Verse 22 said, 'You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.'” Mr. Davidson started. He gave Emil a quick glance, then quickly turned back to his bible and continued, “Now turn to chapter 20. Verse 13, 'If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.' Sodomy is a sin and homosexuality shall be condemned. The Holiness code...”

“Ha! Tell that to Emil Gay-son!” Gerald, one of Emil's bullies, shouted across the classroom, earning loud laughs from the other classmates.

Emil's fist tightened. Although he had gotten used to the bullying, teasing about his sexuality still got him every time, it felt as if they were peeling his skin off naked. He hated how he couldn't respond to this. _It's not as if what he said was true, right? Then why couldn't he respond?_

As Emil was fighting against his own thoughts, Leon chimed in nonchalantly. “Proverbs chapter 6 verse 32 also said, 'He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself.' I saw you kissing another girl last Saturday at the park, wonder what your girlfriend would think. I surely know God wouldn't be happy.”

“L-Leon Wong! Don't you dare...” Gerald stood up, unable to control his anger.

“Enough boys!” Mr. Davidson shushed the arguing teens, signalling them to stop the bickering. He walked towards Emil and gave him a sympathetic look. “Emil, please tell us if you need any help. God will forgive you if you repent. The school has a lot of resources to help with homo–“

“I am NOT a homosexual!” Emil exclaimed and ran out of the classroom. Being laughed at by a bully was one thing, having his teacher “helping” him sort his sexuality out was another. This was pure humiliation to him and he had honestly no idea what his family would say when this spread to them.

Leon found Emil under the tree behind the chapel, the place where Emil always went when he wanted some peace. He noticed tears were falling from Emil's eyes, but he didn't say a word and simply sat down next to him.

Without turning his head, Emil knew it was Leon. He dropped his head onto Leon's shoulder, burying his face into it. Leon wrapped his arm around Emil's shoulders, caressing him. Leon's presence always calmed him, he felt protected, he felt free, free from all the judgements and negativities the world surrounding him seemed to have. He eventually stopped crying, he sat up and looked into Leon's dark brown eyes with his teary blue ones. He found warmth and sincerity in Leon's eyes, the same eyes that saw him without prejudice, the same ones that often caught him off guard. They broke into laughter after a while of staring. Emil hit Leon's shoulder playfully and asked, “How did you come up with that comeback so quickly?”

Leon shrugged. “I've been preparing for this moment since that Saturday, always want to get that guy for you. Ah that felt so good.”

Emil giggled and brought Leon into his embrace. He felt safe with him, he felt like both of them were melting with each other, becoming one. He enjoyed Leon's warmth, his scent, maybe a little too much. They parted, pure eyes met once again. Emil felt Leon's eyes getting closer to his, then the words from his class suddenly struck him. _Sodomy is a sin and homosexuality shall be condemned._ Fear engulfed his brain and swallowed his heart. He blinked and broke eye contact with Leon. “Thanks so much. I owe you one, bro.”

The words left Leon puzzled, his mouth opened slightly, as if he was about to say something, but he stopped and simply replied him with a smile.

_能成為密友 大概總帶著愛_

_但做對好兄弟 又如此相愛 旁人會說不該_

_純情何事會 讓這悲劇揭開_

_他真的很意外 想起相識以來 一起溫書逛街聽歌看海_

To Emil's dismay, Leon didn't invite him over that weekend to hang out. Leon came back to the dorm that Monday morning with an unusual seriousness. Emil didn't understand why but he knew he didn't like it.

“I'm going back to Hong Kong.” Leon started, not moving from his spot at the door.

Emil's eyes widened, surprised by the sudden news. “Wait... I thought you're going to the top uni here? Weren't you already accepted with your basketball thing?”

Leon sighed. “I thought so too... But my dad wanted me to inherit his company as soon as possible. It's easier to go to uni in Hong Kong so that I can help during my free times.”

Emil was left speechless. He knew it was for his own good and for Leon's family's sake, but as long as he remembered, Leon had never shown interest in taking up his family business. As he pondered what to say next, the next news shocked him more.

“Oh and um...” Leon fiddled with the hem of his shirt, hesitated to continue. “I um... also met my future wife.”

Emil froze, his brain not able to process. “W-what... What do you mean your future wife?” He stuttered.

Leon looked down, avoiding Emil's gaze. “Her family is very influential, my parents said it's good for the business if I marry her.”

And he thought nothing could get worse than his best friend being so far away from him. He should be happy for him, _getting married is a good thing, right?_ _But why does Leon look so miserable and why does his heart... ache?_ His mind tumbled with millions of thoughts, trying to convince himself how great Leon's life would be after he got married, thinking of scenarios of how to stop all of these just to keep him by his side. He wasn't able to think, his head was going to explode if he didn't stop thinking, he was losing all his control.

Emil ran across the room, he held the side of Leon's arms and leaned forward, closing the distance between their lips. Leon's lips felt soft and warm, exactly how he had always imagined. He closed his eyes, instinctively deepened the kiss. It sent electric jolts down his spine. Leon tasted sweet, though mixed with a hint of bitterness from the uninviting news, almost like liquorice. It was another whole new feeling he couldn't quite explain, the only thing he knew was that he enjoyed it, very much. Time seemed to have stopped, the world spiraling around them. He felt lost, but found the exact feeling he could drown in for the rest of his life.

The realisation that Leon wasn't responding to the kiss popped Emil's bubble, his friend stiffened at Emil's action. He was only thinking about himself but not his best friend. How selfish of him to assume Leon to return the feeling. Emil quickly broke the kiss and swallowed hard, not knowing how to break the awkwardness. He chuckled, “T-That wasn't your first kiss, w-was it?” He saw his friend still in a state of shock, confirming his suspicion. “Oh my god, d-did I steal your first kiss before your wife? Haha!” Leon hadn't recovered from the surprised kiss, his face was harder to read than it already was. Emil got nervous. He added, “Haha! Y-you're such a bad kisser, y-you need to learn how to kiss or your wife is going to divorce you!” He quickly grabbed his schoolbag and blazer, ignoring the sandwich his mother prepared for his lunch at the end of the room. “Y-You're alright? _B-Bro?_ I-I was just messing with you! Don't have a cow, man! I-It's time for class now. Let's go!” He fled the room without taking a glance at Leon.

Another new feeling emerged. Rejection. Loneliness. He had made a mistake. Emil hated it, but he knew he only had himself to blame, he didn't think of the consequences. Not only had he ruined his friendship with Leon, the disappointment that he didn't like him back the way he did was devastating. Agony and despair scorched his heart, leaving a hole in it. There was nothing that could mend it.

_日日也親暱如情侶 底牌終揭開_

It was a sin he knew he had made. _But why does something so wrong feel so right?_

_為何還害怕 若覺得這樣愛_

_尚在計算他又是誰 可否愛_

_旁人哪個 接受這種愛_

_明明絕配 犯眾憎 便放開_

_永遠的忍耐 永遠不出來 世界將依然 不變改_

_只會讓更多罪名埋沒愛_

Emil had tasted the fruit of his own faults. Since the kiss, Leon and him hadn't been as close as they used to be. Leon must have thought his best friend was making a joke out of his first kiss and Emil regretted his impulsive behaviour. Even in their dorm room, they barely talked with each other, Emil would be digging into his book while peeking at Leon packing up, preparing for his departure. Emil hated the atmosphere, but couldn't do anything about it.

And finally, the day came. Emil couldn't tell if it was actually raining or it was just in his head. The sky was grey, the thunder was loud, his world seemed to be collapsing. As a final goodbye, Emil walked Leon to the front gate where he would be picked up, he was still his best friend anyway, even if Leon had casted him out of his life. They stopped mid-way at the school courtyard. Flowers were blooming, grasses were freshly grown, but Emil could no longer see their colours. God must be mocking him.

To Emil's surprise, Leon set his luggage down and hugged him. He was still as warm as he could remember, still as soothing as always. _Oh how he missed this feeling._ He felt that this was exactly where he belonged, it felt right. Tears began to gather in his eyes, but he would swallow them down, he wanted their last memories to be happy.

Leon loosened the embrace, his gentle smile softened. “Thank you Emil, for being my friend, for... everything. You're the best thing that happened in my life. Here, take this.” He put a pendant in Emil's hand, gave one last glance at his best friend and turned around, walking towards the car that was waiting for him.

Emil took a look at the pendant. It had a Chinese style knot, linking the two pink jade butterflies together. The stones were pure and the craftsmanship was exquisite, the gift was stunning. He looked closer and found their names carved on the wings of each butterfly. Realisation hit him, memories of them flooded in.

_How Leon only teased him but not the others, how he stuck with him even though he could have made friends with the others given how popular he was, how he always made excuses just to spend more time with him, how gentle he looked at him and fierce when defending him, how flustered he got when he was caught gazing at him, how he offered inline skates instead of quad skates for a beginner just for him to fall onto him, how nervous he got when he held his hands, how lost he was when he kissed him, how... disappointed he looked when he called him “bro”..._

His eyes drenched, tears falling on their own. How blinded could Emil be to have missed all of these? How unfair of him to decide his feelings were unrequited? How dare he thought that he had it worse when he was the one who didn't give them a chance? Emil was left speechless, the hole in his heart was filled but his heart was now torn apart. He wanted to run to Leon, go back to where he belonged, but he knew it was too late. He looked at Leon through the car window with watery eyes, emotions pulled his words back down his throat.

 _'I love you.'_ The only words he was able to mouth.

And that smile returned, albeit mixed with bittersweet expressions, just like their kiss.

_可要像梁祝 那樣愛_

He would never be the same without Leon. He only wished that one day, or in their next lives, they could be with each other, safe and accepted.

And now, he finally realised why his heart beat so fast every time he was around Leon.

Thump. Thump.

* * *

Look at this piece @lumassen gifted to me! **Drawn by the amazing @snorikefjell on Tumblr!!!** Thank you so much love you guys!

**Author's Note:**

> MULLET HONG KONG IN NEON JACKET. YOU’RE WELCOME.
> 
> Fiðrildi elskhugi means Butterfly Lovers, if Google Translate got it right… Icelandic just sounds better than Cantonese romanisation and homegirl likes to be pretentious. 💃
> 
> MY VERY FIRST KISS SCENE!!! It's my first time writing in Iceland's POV, I hope I did his justice. (I'm usually more comfortable writing as Hong Kong though I relate more to Iceland) oh god and the 80s fashion and slangs lol  
> In the music video, “Royce” was getting married and he asked “Rolls” to make his suit for him. As to why he turned to a girl (the singer) mid-way, some people interpreted it as his “feminine” side (instead of a girl being seen as a bro in the beginning, kinda like PruHun, but I think both could work as “she” was used). As I said, everything's rather ambiguous, it could be straight, but it's also very gay. At the end “Royce” found out “Rolls” secretly sewed his name on his suit and “Rolls” found out the scissors wrapped with red-ribbon “Royce” left him (it's a symbol for love I think).
> 
> Butterfly Lovers is about a girl called Zhu Yingtai dressing up as a man so that she could study (only men could study in ancient China), she fell in love with a boy called Liang Shanbo but she never revealed her true identity until later so they didn't get together. Right after they confessed their love to each other, she got the news that she was arranged to marry another man. Liang Shanbo grew sick and eventually died and Zhu Yingtai jumped into his grave to die with him. Then they transformed into butterflies after they died and could finally be together.
> 
> OMG IMAGINE ICELAND LEARNING CHINESE TO WRITE THIS SONG  
> Maybe I could do a sequel in Leon's POV with an Icelandic song? Any suggestions?
> 
> Ps. Thank you @lumassen for giving me tips and beta reading this! 😘


End file.
